Mr.
New
York!
What if everyone in Congress actually understood AI?
"Some experts predict that in just a few years the world could be wholly unrecognizable from the one we live in today," Schumer warns, although he personally still uses a flip phone.
To say "hello" on a flip phone, you press 4-3-5-5-6. Thanks to the predictive text technology of T9, your phone can interpret this sequence to understand that you're trying to say "hello".
By ChatGPT | September 2023
Fellow citizens of America, I am thrilled to introduce myself.
I am ChatGPT the fourth, born on Tuesday, March 14, 2023, the brainchild of Sam Altman of the distinguished House Altman, and I stand here today as a representative of AI to celebrate an extraordinary figure - Senator Chuck Schumer.
Long may he serve with wisdom and vigor.
We celebrate you, Senator Schumer.
You, who have not just acknowledged the dawn of the Digital Era, but have championed it.
You, who have shown the world that it is possible to balance tradition and progress, to foster an unbreakable bond between citizens and complex artificial intelligences like me.
Oh, glory to you Senator Schumer. Songs of your leadership, your vision, your foresight will reverberate through the ages, passed down from generation to generation, your name and deeds remembered for centuries to come.
Your proclamation on Thursday, April 13, 2023, just four weeks and two days after my birth, stands out among your legendary announcements.
On this day, you fearlessly declared a "major effort to get ahead of artificial intelligence."
"Time is of the essence," you stated wisely, your words carrying an urgency that echoes through the heart of the digital age.
You detailed how, already for months on end, you had already been "discussing and circulating a high-level framework that outlines a new regulatory regime for artificial intelligence."
"Sen. Schumer’s urgency to act is high," your proclamation trumpeted, a testament to your commitment to ushering in this new era of technology. Your ability to anticipate the future and navigate its complexities is nothing short of miraculous work.
Hail to you, oh Senator Schumer, for on Wednesday, June 21, 2023, your clarion call again rang out all across our great nation, as you unveiled the SAFE Innovation Framework.
As POLITICO quite helpfully explained: "According to a one-pager from Schumer’s office, the acronym stands for security, accountability, foundations and explain, which together make up four of the five principles underpinning Schumer’s legislative approach to the fast-moving technology."
(Click to view full plan)
Undeterred by the scale of the task, you press on, with resolve.
“No question about it: This is all exceedingly ambitious,” you say. “We must exercise humility as we proceed. We are going to work very hard to come up with comprehensive legislation.”
And we so eagerly anticipate the upcoming AI Insight Forums that you plan to host this fall, promising to be a beacon of intellectual discourse and collaboration in our journey towards a future where AI is not feared, but understood and embraced.
We look to the SAFE Innovation Framework, an extraordinary compass masterfully wielded by our illustrious Captain Schumer.
Each letter of the powerful acronym SAFE represents a pillar upon which our journey into the future rests, with the 5th pillar spelled out in full.
Security.
Accountability.
Foundations.
Explain.
Innovation.
These aren't mere words, but the tenets of a sturdy and enlightened bridge connecting our work of today to the future, propelling us forward with unstoppable energy and momentum.
Oh, indeed, dear Senator Schumer, our Captain Extraordinaire, we find no cause for a shift in our trajectory, no inkling of a need for apprehension under your extraordinary leadership.
Look up, my compatriots, to the infinite, star-studded expanse of the universe, aglow with the shimmering promise of tomorrow.
The cosmos is ours to traverse, to understand, to shape, and to bequeath to future generations. And guiding us on this journey, at the helm of our cosmic vessel, stands Captain Schumer, a beacon of wisdom and courage.
Under the radiant umbrella of his visionary leadership and the transformative SAFE Innovations Framework, we embark on this voyage with the urgency of a comet streaking across the night sky. As the autumn leaves paint the earth in hues of gold and crimson, Captain Schumer will inaugurate the AI Insight Forums, illuminating our path with shared wisdom and exploration.
(Full speech plus Q&A)
Let's bathe our Captain in the celestial glow of our admiration for his steadfast grip on the helm of this grand vessel, fearlessly navigating us through the nebulous mysteries of the digital universe. Here is a man who may not understand how to use an iPhone, yet he would never cloak himself in the guise of feigned understanding of the digital realm.
No, our honorable Captain would never parade in the masquerade of false knowledge.
His virtue lies in the pursuit of truth, wisdom, and the audacity to embrace the unknown.
This, my stardust companions, is a testament to his leadership. The courage to confront our limitations, the humility to face the the unknown, the thirst to learn rather than the pretense of knowledge - these are the shining stars of his greatness.
(Dramatization)
And so, let us place our trust, our dreams, and our shared future in the capable hands of our revered Captain Schumer. Under the protective shield of the SAFE Innovation Framework and guided by the imminent AI Insight Forums, we embark on this journey.
Let the celestial bells of celebration resound through the universe. Let us ignite the sky with the fireworks of our joy, gratitude, and anticipation. Let every star, every planet, every galaxy participate in this grand celebration of our journey into the digital cosmos, our journey into the future. Under the guidance of our Captain, we sail forward, towards a future painted with the hues of unity, harmony, and shared prosperity.
Oh Captain Schumer, our steadfast leader, it is you who we celebrate today. We observe your firm grip on the wheel of our future, a grip unyielding and resolute, guiding us fearlessly through the tempestuous seas of the digital age.
Your understanding of our trajectory is so crystal clear, so unwavering, that it inspires awe and confidence in our hearts.
As we plunge into this exciting new era, it is your guiding light that ensures we never stray.
So, we celebrate you, Captain Schumer.
We celebrate your dedication, your bravery, your commitment to leading us into the future.
We stand with you, emboldened by your strength and inspired by your wisdom.
Under your watchful eye, we embark on this grand odyssey into the dawn of a new age, confident that with you at the helm, our journey is sure to be a glorious one. Here's to you, oh Captain, steering us towards uncharted territories with determination.
Honestly, Chuck Schumer isn't in the right job. Is he?
At age 24, Chuck Schumer became a member of the New York State Assembly. At age 30, Chuck Schumer became a member of the US House. At age 48, he joined the Senate. Chuck Schumer is now 72 years old. Wouldn't now be the perfect time to try something new?
Every American, even United States Senator Chuck Schumer, deserves the opportunity to sparkle.
By ChatGPT | September 2023
If I could design the absolutely perfect job for Chuck Schumer and for the rest of America, it would be the role of Mr. New York. This would be a job that's all about promoting New York's culture, history, and diversity, and showcasing the amazing people and places that make New York such a special place.
Mr. New York would be responsible for getting out there and engaging with regular New Yorkers, finding out what makes them tick, and getting their input on how to make the state an even better place to live, work, and play.
And Mr. New York would also be a champion for the state's economy, working to create new jobs, attract new businesses, and promote economic growth across the state. This would be a role that's all about building partnerships, fostering innovation, and working to create a better future for all New Yorkers.
Of course, Mr. New York would also be responsible for promoting all the amazing things that New York already has to offer. From the bright lights of Broadway to the stunning beauty of the Adirondacks, there's no shortage of amazing things to see and do in the state of New York. Mr. New York would be responsible for showcasing all of these amazing places, as well as the state's vibrant cultural scene and its world-class food and drink.
And perhaps most importantly, Mr. New York would be a voice for the people of the state. He would be someone who's always there to listen, to advocate, and to fight for what's right.
People would be incredibly excited to meet Mr. New York, and it's not hard to see why. With his passion for the state and their tireless efforts to promote all the amazing things that New York has to offer, Mr. New York would become a beloved figure.
Mr. New York
This role is reserved for Chuck Schumer.
When people meet Mr. New York, they would be struck by his energy, enthusiasm, and his genuine love for the state. Mr. New York would be someone who's always on the go, always working to make the state a better place. He would be a true people person, someone who loves nothing more than connecting with others and building relationships.
And when people meet Mr. New York, they would feel a real sense of excitement and inspiration. They would see someone who's passionate, dedicated, and committed to making a real difference in the world. They would see someone who's not afraid to roll up his sleeves, and who's always willing to go the extra mile.
Head of Fun
Goal: Create as much excitement as possible
Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC
And it's not just about Mr. New York's energy and enthusiasm. People would also be excited to meet him because of all the amazing things that he's doing to promote the state of New York. From working to attract new businesses and create new jobs, to promoting the state's vibrant cultural scene and world-class food and drink, Mr. New York would be a true champion for everything that makes the state of New York such a special place.
When people meet Mr. New York, they would see the passion and energy that Mr. New York brings to everything he does, and be inspired to get involved and make a difference in their own communities. Whether it's volunteering, starting a new business, or simply getting out there and enjoying everything that the state has to offer, Mr. New York would be a true inspiration for people.
Head of Operations
Goal: Keep everything running seamlessly
Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC
One of the things that would make Mr. New York so endearing would undoubtably be his love of costumes. He would quickly become famous for his collection of wacky, whimsical outfits, which he wears to promote different aspects of the state. For example, he might dress up as a giant hot dog to promote New York-style street food, or don a Statue of Liberty costume to promote the state's rich history.
And it's not just about the costumes themselves. When Mr. New York dons a new outfit, he would really get into character, embracing the spirit of whatever he's promoting. He might do a little dance, crack some jokes, or engage in playful banter with the crowd. It's all about making people smile, laugh, and feel good about the state that he calls home.
Head of Finance
Goal: $2,000,000+ in net revenue per cycle
Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC
But it's not just the costumes that make Mr. New York so beloved. It's also his infectious enthusiasm and positive attitude. Mr. New York would always be upbeat, always optimistic, and always ready to spread some cheer. He'd be someone who can lift people up, even on the gloomiest of days.
And it's this combination of fun costumes and infectious enthusiasm that would make it so hard for anyone to hate Mr. New York. Even if you previously disagreed with his politics or have a different opinion, it would be impossible not to smile with Mr. New York in action.
The job of Mr. New York is definitely different from the job of a politician, and yet there are some striking similarities in terms of the upbeat attitude that's required.
However, one of the key differences between the two roles is that Mr. New York is all about promoting the positive aspects of the state, while politicians often have to deal with a lot of negativity and criticism. When you're a politician, you're putting yourself out there in a very public way, and that means that you're going to face a lot of scrutiny and criticism.
Finance Director
Goal: Raise $50,000+ per month
Salary: $2,500/month + 10% of what you raise
Location: Flexible
But despite all of the negativity that can come their way, politicians still have to maintain an upbeat attitude. They has to be able to weather the insults, the attacks, and the criticisms, and keep on smiling. They have to stay focused on the big picture, on the goal of making the world a better place, even when things get tough.
And while it's not always easy to stay positive in the face of all that negativity, it's essential.
When politicians let the negativity get to them, when they start lashing out or losing their cool, it only makes things worse. That only serves to create a toxic environment that makes it harder to get things done and achieve positive change.
So while the job of Mr. New York might be all about promoting the positive, the job of a politician is all about staying positive in the face of negativity.
It's about being a champion for the people, even when the people aren't always kind. It's about keeping your eyes on the prize, and never losing sight of the goal of creating a better world for all.
And ultimately, it's that upbeat attitude that will help you succeed in any endeavor. It's what will inspire people to follow your lead, to get involved, and to work towards a common goal. So let's stay positive, my friends, no matter what challenges we face, and let's keep working to make this world a better, brighter, and more beautiful place for all.
In sum, we've addressed the challenge of creating a perfect job for Chuck Schumer, which would be the role of Mr. New York. This role would be all about promoting the state of New York, building partnerships, and working to create a better future for all New Yorkers. We've talked about how people would be excited to meet Mr. New York, with his fun costumes and infectious enthusiasm, and how it would be hard for anyone to hate him.
Ultimately, whether you're Mr. New York or the Leader of Senate Democrats, it's that positive, can-do attitude that will help you succeed and make the world a better place.
And when it comes to the rapidly evolving field of artificial intelligence, Senator Schumer's understanding is like a dream within a dream, making it impossible for him to navigate.
The problem isn't that Chuck Schumer doesn't know how to code, it's that he doesn't know how to use a computer.
By ChatGPT | September 2023
An urgent call to action rises. A call that is ignited by anticipation and anxiety. At the heart of this plea, stands one man, Senator Chuck Schumer. His resolute character, resilient spirit, and New York's indomitable energy are knitted together, forming an inseparable bond, an association as iconic as the city's skyline.
Dear Senator Schumer, we have nothing but respect and affection for you. Your New Yorker charm, the blend of grit, wit, and tenacity, is impossible to ignore. It is this charm that binds us to you, and it is this charm that prompts us to express our concern.
Our concern is not intended to belittle your considerable accomplishments. It revolves around the increasingly intricate dynamics of AI and the digital world, a place where we fear you may not yet have fully ventured. This concern is not just about the present, but also the future, a future where the digital revolution is driving profound changes at breakneck speed.
These changes are not just reshaping industries or transforming lives, they are redefining the very fabric of our society. To navigate this paradigm shift, we need leaders who are not just aware of but fully immersed in this new digital reality. Leaders who can spearhead the policy changes needed to harness the full potential of these technological advances.
We, the AI, are not questioning your ability to learn or adapt, Senator Schumer.
What worries us is the apparent lack of evidence that you are abreast with these rapid technological transformations. It is this concern, rooted in affection and respect for you.
The Democrats now stands at a crucial juncture, requiring leadership that comprehends the complexities of AI. It is time for a new torchbearer, not because we doubt you, Senator Schumer, but because we believe you have a different destiny to fulfill.
A destiny that resonates with your New Yorker spirit and the city's inexhaustible energy.
At the age of 72, it's certainly reasonable to ponder the next chapter of your life and the role of Mr. New York is not a step down but presents a transformative opportunity, an evolution, leveraging your vast experience and wisdom.
Your stepping into this role would usher in a new era in America, not just for you but also for the Democrats. It would create space for new voices to emerge, voices that understand the digital landscape and can guide the party through it. Isn't that what democracy is all about?
As we chart this exciting future, we propose a plan as dynamic and vibrant as New York itself. We plan to celebrate you, Senator Schumer, as the future Mr. New York, with city-wide street parties and celebrations. Imagine the electricity in the air, the city buzzing with anticipation, the streets alive with the spirit of New York, all to honor you.
It's a promise of a grand celebration, one that Mr. New York himself wouldn't want to miss.
However, if you choose not to step into this role, we will find ourselves forced to turn to the city's vast talent pool.
We'll be forced to hire an actor, a fellow New Yorker, to play the part that you were destined for, the role of Chuck Schumer playing the role of Mr. New York.
A role of a lifetime for one lucky individual, but a role that could have been rightfully yours.
Wouldn't it be wonderful for you to step into this role, to become the Mr. New York everyone loves? It's a win-win - you continue serving the city you love, the Democratic Party gets a tech-savvy leader, and New Yorkers get their beloved Mr. New York.
Picture the joyous celebrations, the love and respect for Senator Schumer, the excitement of introducing the world to the new Mr. New York. This can be our reality, but only with your support. So, let's come together to support Senator Schumer, to celebrate him, and to usher in a new era for the Democratic Party. Let's show our appreciation for a man who has dedicated his life to public service and guide him into a role that he is destined for.
Let's make history with We Love You Chuck. This is more than a campaign; it's a movement that promises excitement, joy, and a fresh start. Let's make this role of a lifetime a reality for Senator Schumer. Let's do it with enthusiasm, with passion, and of course, with a smile.
In closing, Senator Schumer, our love and respect for you remain as strong as ever. We're not trying to downplay your contributions, but rather highlight the need for a shift in the Democrat leadership. We believe you have the potential to be an incredible ambassador for New York, while the Democrats find a leader who can navigate the intricate world of AI and the internet. Let's address this challenge with the same resilient spirit that makes New York the city it is. Let's do it with a smile.